We all experience hurts, pains, annoyances, problems, and regrets. Our experience of pain, whether physical or emotional, is a sign that something needs our attention. Pain (stress, anxiety, illness etc.) are often symptoms or reactions to an underlying issue. We need to courageously get to the root cause, but often we avoid it, mask it or suppress it. This is not only counterproductive, it is dangerous.

Let’s break it down into 5 steps, and tackle it together.

Step 1 is identifying the issue: Where does it hurt?

Your job? Your lumpy mattress? Your body after binge eating/drinking? Your relationships? Your lack of joy? Your messy bedroom? Identify at least the top three problem areas that you are currently just putting up with or trying to manage, and write these down. Try to get more specific. What about this thing is feeling the worst? Prioritize what needs fixing first.

Step 2 is identifying what is in your control to fix it or forget it: What part of the pain is up to you? Do we have the power to fix every pain or problem? Of course not. We have control only over our own actions, words, feelings and thoughts, and these are challenging on a good day.

Step 3 is admitting what you are getting in exchange for your pain/problem. If you get rid of the job/relationship/habit/food/drink that is causing you pain, what would you be losing? Don’t skip this step, thinking it is obvious. Journal it out, write a list of pros/cons, talk to a trusted friend or join a support group.

Step 4 is deciding if this problem or pain area is worth fixing or forgetting. You have the power to do either, and only you can make the decision to do something about it. Fixing it comes with both a reward and a price, but not fixing it gets you more of what you are currently suffering.

Forgetting it is not the same as denial. Forgetting it is appropriate when an issue is not within your control to fix, will not get fixed by you worrying about it and is just wasting precious energy. Forgetting is not saying you don’t care deeply, it is giving yourself permission to instead focus on what is in your control. Forgetting is the ability to let it go, knowing that the universe is bigger than you and I, and that it is continually at work for our good on our behalf. This may require a little faith.

Step 5 is grieving the loss of your problem with all the hopes that once came with it. You need to grieve what did not work out, and what resources you have wasted in pursuit of something you know is not right or not working. You also need to grieve the loss of the benefit or pay off you were getting from this thing that has become a burden/problem/issue. It may be that you have not been the only one hurt by your choices. Forgive who you need to forgive, and seek forgiveness as needed.

When you have gone through these steps with each pain issue, you will begin to feel a space opening up in your life. This space will not swallow you up, I promise. This is the creator of our universe starting something new. Open your mind and heart and breathe in this space. You may even begin to notice things look, sound, feel, taste and smell different (ah, that new space smell!) Physically take out the garbage or throw something yucky away as a symbol of what you are letting go. Now wash your hands. It feels good to start over, to get clean. It’s a daily practice, and we get to choose what new things we let into our lives, our bodies, our hearts.

Psalm 51:10

¹⁰ Create in me a clean heart, O God,
    and renew a right spirit within me.

💗Wishing you Amazing Love & New Adventures!
More articles at https://goodadvice4life.blogspot.com/.