Disclaimer: A word of caution, before we begin.

This is not advice to get off of any necessary medical treatment or to stop seeing your counselor. Please continue or seek out professional medical or psychological assistance as needed. There is no shame in that!

Okay, with that out of the way.

First, the bad news:

You are being sold a lie about what it takes to be happy. Okay, that was me throwing you a softball. Here comes the hardball. You are being sold a bunch of lies about what it takes to be happy from mass media especially. It is overwhelming, and we all fall into those traps.

Now the good news:

You have a choice (kind of). Let’s just say kind of for now, and I’ll explain.

I can already feel some of you resisting. Shoot, I can feel myself resisting. Why is that? We have bought into the lie that we need stuff to make us happy, and we like stuff, and it can make us happy temporarily.

That’s the rub: The feelings from the stuff never lasts long. We then feel the need to continually buy more, and do more to feel satisfied. This is not necessarily a bad thing, if we are choosing wisely, but we don’t want to be under the impression that without these things, our life is meaningless or empty.

So we get it backwards. We want to experience happiness as a blissful feeling, but we know that that kind of temporary state never stays, and can leave us feeling more empty than before.

We need something stable and lasting to sustain us between the highs and lows of life. We need to know that we are loved, and have worth. This can help us to make better choices for ourselves, and become more resilient in hard times.

Happiness is an emotional state, but we do have some control over it. We can build up our resilience to stress and hard times by practicing a positive mindset and expressing gratitude.

Our happiness is also connected to our physical actions. Taking a walk, getting a little sunshine, eating nutritional foods (protein!) and engaging in some fun exercise can boost your mood!

When we think of happiness as a muscle, we can activate it to shift into a more positive attitude, and take action to uplift ourselves. This is not to be confused with the law of attraction, and it is certainly not a magic wand, but it is powerful.

I wish it was a magic wand. Sometimes we feel like we get punched in the face by a circumstance and it is definitely not our fault. We rightly feel sad and mad and scared, and we have the right to seek help, want justice, and above all to heal and make the world a better place.

Is happiness a choice? It is partially your choice. We aren’t 100% in control of everything, but we will have a harder time feeling happy if we believe that we are powerless.

Can or should you always be “happy”? No, that is not the meaning of life, and would not be appropriate or realistic, but you can choose to make yourself available to being happy again.

Being open can feel scary, especially after trauma. The universe can seem untrustworthy and random! Sometimes bad things happen to good people, and good things happen to bad people, and to make matters even more confusing…

Sometimes bad things come from previously believed to be good things, and good things can come out of bad things. That is good news. Good things can follow bad.

This gives me hope.

We don’t always have the whole picture, do we? So, before you buy into something you think will make you happy, or accept that something or someone else is keeping you from happiness, do this first:

Choose something to be happy about now, that you already have. That’s gratitude. Can’t think of anything? Put your hand on your heart. Do you feel your heart beating? Your heart and your happiness are muscles, and they are connected.

💗Wishing you Amazing Love & Happiness!
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